WEEKLY DOSAGE

When I was away, I took time to register as a voter for the forthcoming general elections. In case you have the slightest shade of doubt, my elector’s number is 011277121125141-9. I couldn’t help but notice the wanting quality of those cards the IEBC team is giving. The card I owned before was more durable, more or less like the quality of an Identity Card. I have only used it once, during the referendum and I believe my vote counted because we passed the new constitution.  I’m waiting for the day the whole country will embrace information technology so that we don’t have to queue to vote. I have a dream that one day the click of a mouse button is all that will be required to cast a vote. Why can’t we vote via email? Talking about emails, why was I asked for my email address by the clerk when registering? I also don’t get why they asked for my phone number since I have been receiving text messages urging me to register as a voter way after I registered. Aren’t they supposed to tell Safaricom to customize my text like “Whart up Lucs, howz u holding up… Thanx for registering with IEBC. Your current M-Pesa balance will be credited shortly. Know wat, tell others peeps to follow suit!” If you are reading this blog and have not yet registered to vote, shame on you. Yes I know you think your vote doesn’t count but remember it is your civic duty to contribute.
I have been spending a considerable amount of my time on TV. Watching too much of it! Suits. How I Met Your Mother. Revenge. Nikita. Some documentaries…and the list goes on and on. When I’m I going to read? I know exactly when. The night before exam. That is one of my most guarded little secrets! Unless karma comes biting and the official ‘mpango wa candle’ sponsors, also known as KPLC decide to switch off the lights.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE
Girls, when you grow up, does anyone want to be Caroline Mutoko? Not the job description part which is extremely inviting, I mean who minds laughing all the way to the bank to cash in some six figures. I’m talking about the Caroline Mutoko who rattled the internet community the other day. It still beats me how ‘idling’ we can all get. A hate Facebook page getting over 10,000 likes less in less than 48 hours?? Legendary! She did diss us no doubt. And when I say ‘us’ I mean the youth. I’m thinking somebody should create a Wikipedia page for her. The popularity, actually the fame she has amassed is incredible. Just so we are clear, I’m not for or against her. The tongue, if not put to check can jeopardize reputations, top-notch jobs, egos and so many other good things. They all come tumbling down. Remember our deputy chief justice? The tongue my friends.

FOOTBALL ANALYSIS
I am so bitter because it’s now common knowledge that my team has continued to disappoint me in every single game. We are still languishing in the 7th place on the league table. What worries me most is the series of losses we have embarked on in the recent past. On Tuesday night, we were beaten on penalties by league 2 side Bradford at Valley Parade. I know majority of you are wondering what team that is. It is in league 2. Mind you they beat us so bad. I believe the lack of spending has now gone too far. The team is decreasing in quality every year since 2009. I do not know what strategy the C.E.O Mr. Ivan Gazidis has in mind. The club needs a lil bit of investment, and when I say investment I mean players. The sponsorship deal with Emirates Airline is not doing us any better.

GOOGLE ‘How to’
Apparently, google.co.ke has just released a report analyzing the most persistent searches by Kenyan’s. The query that garnered the highest traffic and is obviously the trending one is: “How to abort”. The report says that the number one trending search is the “how to” category. If you want to experience how distracting google can get, just search “how to” and read the suggestions that pop up. Out of the top four results, am as sure as it will get dark tonight that 3 will be about things like … oh my!! That is your homework.




Till next week, I'm out!