Facebook And Relationships

         "Oh, I knew you you were trouble when you walked in, so shame on me now
           Flew me to places I'd never been, now I'm lying on the cold hard ground
          Oh, oh Trouble, Trouble, Trouble
          Oh, oh Trouble, Trouble, Trouble..."
That is what happened to me the other day while doing a continuous assessment test. I caught myself singing Taylor Swift's 'I knew you were trouble'. It was playing in the back of my mind at a time when I should have been solving mathematical problems. I don't know whether it was because of the way the question was phrased... It read: "Solve for dy/dx..." Here I was. Stuck. Frozen! My life instantly turned into a music video. In the original video, Swift wakes up on an abandoned desert, surrounded by trash and debris, and wearing dark makeup. In my video, I get this flashback with events that had characterized my week. They are all there in black and white. Terms like quotient rule, product rule, power rule, chain rule, implicit differentiation, composite and exponential functions and such like words associated with calculus. Snapping back to reality, I realize people in the exam room are furiously scribbling something down. Turning pages. Having wasted close to five minutes in my reverie, I fight against the temptation of trying to figure out the moral of the song. Maybe it is communicating something but surely it is not suggesting that I knew maths was trouble. Shame on me now.

Away from my uneventful and sometimes eventful life. Among other titles that I have-political analyst, sports commentator, relationship adviser,the list is endless. By the powers that be, and the bachelor's degree on Relationship Counseling conferred on me by the university of Life, I'd like to reinstate my commitment on matters pertaining to relationship advice.I know exactly what men really think about love, relationships, intimacy and commitment, courtesy of Steve Harvey. Well, I have an idea about it.

First of all, I have a bone to pick with young lovebirds. I have beef with those that have made my facebook news feeds be more dramatic than a reality show! If feels like I'm in the big brother house. With CCTV surveillance all over the place. You are head over heels with this fine lass (for guys) or this dude (for girls) and you cannot wait to let the world know all about it. Every single detail. You are more annoying that people who update posts that have the effect of wanting to give them an instant Hi 5. With a chair. On their face. Posts like, " I'm having breakfast, wow it's so yummy..." I mean, who cares? We all have breakfast but we don't rush online to talk about it. Back to this dramatic flare of lovebirds.  My point is that the world is not necessarily excited about where you are being taken to this weekend by your boo. It is not necessarily excited about what happened last night between the two of you.

Second of all, Mark Zuckerberg and his Facebook team had a reason to code that button called 'Messages'. Kindly make use of it. It is meant for private stuff that essentially should not be on the public domain. As much as we (allow me to speak for people who hold a similar opinion) are 'friends' on Facebook, we do not really care that much about your problems. We have a reasonable amount of our own problems. Deal with yours. And as much as we would like to help, we cannot offer much assistance to you. All we will do is probably get a bowl of pop-corns, refresh the page several times over and enjoy the drama. Sometimes we might sympathize though not genuinely.

Important to note, the malady is often found among girls. Note my choice of words. Girls not ladies. After a breakup, she updates her status : "All men are dogs! I hate men #TeamSingle". That consolation sentence has 1,001 errors in it. Can someone please explain to be how being single is a team. Single, in it's most basic definition means only one. The hashtag #TeamSingle is paradoxial in every sense of that word. It is also ironical. Like saying that Henry Kosgey and Ole Ntimama are the youthful leaders we want for a change. I will not bother to point out the hasty generalizations, fallacious presumptions, and the other 999 errors in aforementioned status update. "All men are dogs...". Who told you to sample all men in the first place?

This week I will not talk about the political arena. I would have loved to but time is not on my side.

I will also not talk about sports. And when I say sports I mean how arsenal has continued to lose major games.

Have a fantastic weekend y'all!